I can honestly say that, I am truly ok with being single. I have two beautiful children that keep me awfully busy. I have a great group of friends that I hang out with, some in relationships and some single. I believe that I only ever felt lonely and sad was in my fourteen year relationship with my kids father.
My boss and friend Saundra has said, you were single even when you were with him. I learned how to be independent and how to enjoy my own company.
Holidays don't even get me down. Although, it would be nice to kiss someone under the mistletoe during the holidays, kiss someone at the stroke of midnight on New Years, maybe even have a Valentine or cuddling with someone while watching a movie, when it's chilly, while watching the sunset, or basically anytime is a good time to cuddle. Seriously, I really don't mind being single. I have a stuffed Stormtrooper who I cuddle with every night and yes, I'm a nerdy girl. By the way, cuddling with my kids isn't the same thing. It's a totally different kind of cuddling.
If you haven't yet figured it out. I'm an optimistic, glass half full, hopeful romantic, feet firmly planted on the earth, smart ass. I try not to dwell on the negative, it's draining and I rather enjoy smiling and being in a good mood.
A couple of years ago, my car broke down. My kids had to stay with their father because we live quite a distance from their schools. I had to take the bus to and from work. I came home and my kids were not with me. Even with my parents close by, who I see almost daily, I felt so unbelievably lonely. I had lots of time on my hands. I didn't hang out with my friends. I just kind of sank into a sort of depression. I was so aware of my loneliness and my being single. Maybe that's why I don't get bummed about being single. My kids keep me so busy. They also keep me focused on who I want in my love life. I am not quick to let anyone in my heart. I had such a rough go with their dad, that I knew what I didn't want in my life.
I also made it a point to not jump into another relationship until I healed from my last one. In my line of work, I've come across many new relationships, marriages, break ups and make ups, affairs, and rebounds. I learned from their mistakes as well as my own. I have seen some beautiful unions and have taken what I can from those.
Being single doesn't suck. It's not ideal either. I know my time will come, until then I will enjoy my own company.
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