I actually agree with this quote. I believe in the power of attraction. The definition of the Law of Attraction simply says that you attract into your life whatever you think about. Your dominant thoughts will find a way to manifest. But theLaw of Attraction gives rise to some tough questions that don't seem to have good answers. I got the defintion off of Google, fyi.
I consider myself to be an awakened and enlightend being. I don't radiate as strongly as I would like but I am a work in progress.
In my five years of being single and coming from an abusive relationship with my children's father, I have had my fill of interactions with men who tried to date me or have dated me. I was a damaged soul. I knew I didn't want to jump into a new relationship right away. I did want to go out and just hang out, or so I thought. Well, let me tell you what an experience dating in this day an age has been for me.
When I decided that I would sign up for a dating site or two or three... Later on I learned that most folks are on the same sites. At the time, I thought well, this should be easy enough. My first profile was a biography of what I didn't want. I tried putting some positive stuff in there. I got criticized for what I wrote by one guy. He chewed me out for whatever I wrote. I rebutted and then he called me a cow and blocked me. I revised my profile and revised it and revised it, numerous times. I made it as positive as possible.
I also checked the boxes for casual dating and short term relationships and friends. I didn't realize that was code for "casual sex". I revised it and checked the boxes for long term relationship and wanting to get married... It didn't help.
I hooked up with a couple of guys. I dated a few guys. I chatted with numerous guys. At first I thought, "Is this how dating is nowadays?" I hadn't dated since the late 90's. I'll admit that being pursued by these fellas felt good. It had been a very long time since I had caught someones attention. Only a handful of guys wanted to meet for coffee. Two guys actually took me out to eat a couple of times. Yet, I wasn't what they were looking for, for a long term relationship. I was a great catch for sex though. To bad I wasn't interested in just sex.
I'll admit that I gave myself away more than I should have. I thought, well if this guy is interested in me, why not? But it never panned out to be more. They got what they wanted. I didn't feel great about myself. I just wanted to be loved but I didn't want the commitment because I was afraid of being hurt again. I have kids, I don't need to drag them through another failed relationship. Actually, I don't every introduce my kids to anyone I date. I don't want them to think that I'm some floozy who has a revolving door of guys walking in and out of our lives.
It finally dawned on my that I was attracting all of these types of guys because I wasn't feeling like I deserved a good guy. I didn't treat myself with the respect and love I deserve. I didn't feel worthy of their love and affection. I wanted a relationship at arms distance. I wanted the rush of just hooking up and leaving. Well, you know what happens when you come down from that high. I crashed and felt like shit. I kicked myself in the ass for letting myself get taken advantage of. I was ashamed of myself...
And yet I would ask myself, "Why not me?" "Why am I not good enough?" "What's wrong with me?" When I don't feel like I deserve deep love and am not as self confident in myself as I pretend to be.
I noticed that I pushed away potential mates by saying, I'm really not available. I let my fear guide me and my love life. I am afraid of the unknown. It's easy to feel physical pleasure but to let that pleasure into my heart and soul?? That's utterly frightening!
I finally admitted to myself that I was selling myself short. I am worthy of deep love and affection. Yes, I am cautious. I am afraid of getting hurt but I am willing to open myself up to receiving love. I am no ones booty call, side-bitch (I hate that term), other woman, secret lover, etc...
I just told someone, at the expense of sounding desperate and cheesy, "You treat me like a queen, I will treat you like a king."
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